Yesterday a wheelchair-bound surgeon named Tammy Banovac decided to try to avoid the infamous TSA pat-down at the Oklahoma City Airport by going through security in her skivvies. Smart lady! It didn’t work out so well. She still got pat down and detained, missed her plane, etc etc. Jesus goes through the details on Gizmodo.
What most of the news reports are not mentioning is the fact that she had her dog on her lap the whole time. I want to know if they were equally vigilant about inspecting her dog. Did they check him for ticks while they were at it?
At the risk of getting on some kind of no-fly list, I confess to neakings-ay my ogd-ay and many a lightf-ay. I usually don’t buy even buy him a ticket. This is perhaps unlawful or whatever, but the dog tickets are sometimes as much as the people tickets, and the dogs do not get their own seat or bag of chips. What’s more, Amos’ 16-pounds are not causing the plane to burn any extra fuel. So, call me cheap. But there you go.
I do not put him in the X-ray machine. He goes through security with me. However, when they wrote the script for the Security Theater, there seemed to forget that humans and TUMI carry-ons are not the only things entering a plane. Not once has Amos received a pat-down or been touched with a metal detector wand. If anyone even notices him, they’re just all awww he is so cute! Which is really what you want someone to say when they’re job is to protect me from bombs. But, again, whatever.
So, this has led me to a simple but frightening conclusion. Deep breath. I hope I am not going to get in trouble for saying what about to say. The Google bots are watching, and I could be held accountable for this forever. Yipes. Well here it is folks: If you want to get a, um, grapefruit on a plane, stuff it inside your dog. This could also be a method for transporting liquids more than 3-oz.
Of course, I can’t think of a situation where I’d want to get a grapefruit on a plane. And I hope you can’t either. Maybe if I were getting on a flight with Bin Laden, Hitler, and, oh, I don’t know. Cesar Millan. (JK. Kind of!) And maybe if the dog were Laika (hey, she’s a hero however she goes). Okay, you can open your eyes now, Google-bots.
But seriously: is dog airport security something to be overlooked?