8 pitbull breeder websites that have to be seen to be believed

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I’m a dog trainer, but that doesn’t mean I’m the authority on all things dog. For instance, I know really almost nothing about breeding dogs or about reputable dog breeders. It’s a totally foreign world to me.

My dog came from the city shelter, which is packed with pitbulls and pitbull mixes (which is what my dog is). But I’ve met a few people who’ve purchased pitbulls, and I was curious to learn more.  So, I took to the Internet.

There are so many unwanted pitbulls in the NYC shelters at all times, that I guess I didn’t realize how many were being bred on purpose and sold as pets. Indeed, they are. Of course, Michael Vick and his crew were breeding dogs for fighting. You’d think that breeders would try to be separating themselves from Vick — going in another direction and making their sites super pretty and accessible, right? Not exactly. What I found is a lot of pretty out there sites, all supposedly breeding them and selling dogs for non-fighting purposes–most of the sites have explicit warnings on them that their dogs cannot be used for illegal purposes.

When it comes to creating an online presence, a lot of these breeders are either tacky, absurd, or still living in a 1994 Prodigy window browser.  Pitbull breeders take ridiculous up a couple of decibels. Now, I’m not implying ridiculous is bad, it’s just… well… just take a look for yourselves.

1. Shockerline Pitbulls

Shockerline Kennels, which is located in Michigan, promises you and me the most XXL American Pitbull Terriers known to man. Plus, you can just walk into their dark, scary castle populated by the ghost of pitbulls past.

A sample of their offerings:

2. Mugleston Pitbull Farm

The folks at Mugleston Pitbull Farm in Oklahoma are all about hanging out after dark in a cemetery with their blonde kids and their pits. Hey, don’t knock it until you try it. Honestly, any little girl that says “Screw Barbie! I want an American Pitbull Terrier for Christmas,” can share my lifeboat at the end of the world.

3. Texas Big Bullies

Did you ever get dressed up as a harlot or an outlaw in one of those Wild West photo booths so common in theme parks? Well, in Texas it seems that kind of thing is popular in the pitbull community. At least, for those produced by Texas Big Bullies. Just check out the likes of Bully the Kid, Dog Holliday, and Wild Pit Hickok.

4. Mr. Pitbull

So Mr. Pitbull isn’t exactly a breeder. He’s more, like, Dr. Oz to the pitbull breeders world. Got pitbull questions? Just ask Mr. Pitbull. This dude seems to have all the latest knowledge on how to stud out your male dog, how to increase your pit’s muscle mass, how to stop your dog’s leash pulling with shock collars, how to stop your dog’s barking with shock collars, how to stop dog aggression with shock collar…Shock collars for everyone. Including his web designer.

Said web designer was probably also the maker of this Photoshop collage format (a popular among pitbull breeders, apparently). :

5. Cock Diesel Kennels

Oh C’mon! Should we talk about the massive co….er… elephant in the room? Or should we just pretend like this never, ever, ever happened. By “this,” I mean this site, which welcomes us in with this image:

It’s just like the time you let your pit have a lick of your vanilla ice cream cone with rainbow sprinkles. Remember that? And you ate the whole thing, dog germs and all. Yeah, I think we’ll just pretend none of this ever happened. Here, you can enjoy a video tour of the kennel:

6. Pitfall kennels

Pitfall Kennels in Georgia: Where the fabulously rich and famous (think 50 Cent and Serana Wiiliams) go to do a little pitbull shopping. According to the rapper and kennel co-founder, Big Boi, if you haven’t heard of Pitfall Kennels then you’ve been living under a rock somewhere, eating worms and avoiding the glorious heat of the sun. Or maybe you get your Pitbulls from your friendly neighborhood animal shelter? Crazy, right? Here, some of their current pups:

7. Godfather Kennels

I have it on good authority that Vito Corleone was allergic to dogs. The man couldn’t go within a mile of a dog without breaking into violent fits of sneezing. Take the cannoli, leave the Sudafed. So seeing him stroke a pittie pup is not only implausible, but downright unnerving.

Give that man a cat for pete’s sake. No offense to cat lovers, but we all know they’re the real friends of the bad guys (Dr. Evil’s Mr. Bigglesworth, Dr. Claw’s Mad C.A.T… need I go on?)

8. Hard Rock Bullys

What happens when a pitbull puts out an ad on Craigslist looking for a few talented canine musicians to form a band? Maybe Rock “n” Roll is reborn. Maybe Springsteen weeps because their music is so damned good. Maybe (if you’re like me) you start laughing uncontrollably and splurt out the coconut water you were drinking while looking at this site.

Best part:  their video of a dog opening a car window in the most Hard Rock way. Please watch? Pleaaaaaaase! Let’s share this moment together.

 

14 Responses

  1. Ivan price

    September 15, 2012 12:38 pm

    To this obviously bored author, maybe since all of these Pitbulls your talking about that are in shelters you should use your time more wisely. You call yourself trainer…then go train something. No asked or appreciates your opinion on our websites. I didn’t until now want to track down every cruddy writer and blast her boring literature. Go have an intense telepathathic discussion with your peanut butter or whatever and stay out of peoples business. No ones interested in your opinion. Thanks
    P.s I guess this is what ugly people do. Ugh!

    Reply
    • A concerned lover of pitbulls

      February 7, 2013 10:55 pm

      There’s a special place in hell for you and all of your fellow “breeders,” Ivan Price. No one asked for your cruelty or for you to contribute to the overpopulation, dog fighting, abuse, neglect, mistreatment, or bad image of these wonderful dogs.

      Reply
      • Another concerned lover of pitbulls, and someone who has seen the dogs in their homes, with the familes who love them!

        July 11, 2014 6:05 pm

        I know this breeder, as well as several other pit bull breeders from that area. These are family dogs, that live in the country, and enjoy loving homes. They are NEVER used for fighting! They take naps on the couch with the kids. They take long walks in the woods, and chase balls in the yard with their owners. They enjoy a lot of love and attention. They are sweet natured dogs, and they love their families. (And their families love them) People who assume that pit bull dogs are mean, or are only bred for fighting, need to spend some time with the dogs, and the people who love, and enjoy these very special dogs! To assume that this person, or any of the other people who breed these dogs to share with other loving families deserve to be accused of the kind of ugliness I see written here, is so unfair I can barely believe what I am reading. Shame on all of you for making assumptions about good people, and wonderful dogs who are loved as family members. Any owner or breeder I know of pit bulls would fight someone themselves, before they would allow anyone to hurt their dog! If there is a special place in hell for anyone, it’s for the people who make cruel, and hurtful judgments about others that have no basis in fact. The accusations and comments here are hurtful, completely unfounded, and totally uncalled for. If you really love these dogs, you should be happy they are being kept by people who love them, assure they have good vet care, and who carefully screen the people who occasionally get a puppy from one of their pets.

        Reply
  2. Victoria

    November 19, 2012 8:50 pm

    Don’t forget cancer infested inbred lines of bossy kennels. A owner of no brains or moral scruples breeding dogs barely a year old. Pump them out before u get caught in your own bad blood apparently.( This is from personal expierance unfortunately for me. ) and many others who think they have healthy blood. Watch out when a breeder gets offended when u ask to speak to their vet. True cowardice.
    Pardon my spelling skills

    Reply
  3. rich

    December 20, 2012 3:34 pm

    Hey dumb ass, all you’re doing is boosting the traffic on their websites by posting links to them. If you were all about bashing on them and hurting their business, you can start by removing links that help with google rankings.

    Reply
  4. KB

    June 19, 2013 2:03 pm

    You can tell the breeder is guilty of the author’s satirical accusations–capitalistic breeder.
    No excuse for breeding pits. The world is full to capacity in every color known to science.
    How many of these “breeders” take the dogs back….how many are micro-chipping the dogs and when the shelter calls—transport the dog back to “family”?

    Right.

    Whatever Ivan. Your name calling and abuse speaks volumes just like the website.

    Reply
    • Ellie Mae the PIT BULL

      June 22, 2013 11:54 pm

      me doeznt understandz why hoomanz wantz to hurtz da pits dis way… somepawdy askz me mama if herz waz gonna do dat to me & herz said hellz no she waznt gonna hurt herz baby dat God madez me dis wayz & dat herz waz keeping me da wayz God madez me.. aside dat hurtz…hoomanz sayz we(PITS) dont feelz pain when WE DO FEELZ PAIN…

      Reply
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