5 toys to keep your bored cat from eating you in your sleep

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Dog, please leave the room while your owners and I discuss something private. Good boy!

Dear reader, we need to talk about your cat. Is he neglected? Is he bored? Is he considering clawing your eyeballs out in your sleep? Never fear: We know what he wants. He wants you to go to eBay and buy him stuff.¬†Remember when Triumph the Insult Comic Dog sang Cats are Cunts? That’s just short for Cuntsumers.¬†

The cat consumer does not need toys. He needs play tools. And he wants them now. But what to purchase?

I recently did a series of videos for About.com on great pet products. Here, witness me singing the praises of some cat play tool necessities, from the obvious go-to items (bordello-esque teasers) to the slightly weird (high end cat scratchers) to the slightly weirder (the Mouse in the House).


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